F is for Fear

All Covert Narcissistic Mogs share a common problem.  Once their church grows past about 100 people, they need other people around them to carry out their will and expand their power.  Unfortunately, people close to them invariably see at least glimpses of who they really are.  And so all successful Mogs also share a common skill.  They are all Master Manipulators.  And there is no better weapon in the Master Manipulator's toolbox than fear.

But there's a fine line between Fear and Terror, and terrorized people eventually flee.  No, to succeed he must instill just the right amount of fear.

There are several ways to go about abusing people with just the right amount of fear.  One way is what i call the Long Leash Yanking Method.  The trick is to show approval and encouragement at first. ["As usual, this Sunday's service was wonderful, Brian.  You're doing an amazing job! ]  This can go on for some time and then, when the target becomes comfortable, simply yank back the chain abruptly. ["This Sunday's service was atrocious! What were you thinking?  I went home and was physically ill thinking about how we had subjected the people in the congregation to such a painful experience!"] It's even more effective when the yank comes without warning and at seemingly random times.  Now any dog trainer will tell you this is a pretty poor way to train a dog.  It rarely succeeds in instilling actual obedience.  But take it from someone who endured this technique from my Mog many times, it certainly does succeed in instilling fear.

Public ridicule is another very effective "Leash Yanking" technique..  I remember well a staff meeting where a staff member shared a decision she had made regarding the vendor for our church's cleaning supplies [yeah, life and death stuff here].  Well, this staff member had taken the ill-considered liberty of making this vitally important decision without first consulting the Mog.  Oh, the Humanity!  And so the Mog proceeded to give that staff member a severe dressing down in front of the whole staff.  "What were you thinking?"  "How could you have made such a stupid decision?"  and "Don't EVER make such a decision in the future without consulting me first!"  The rant went on for at least ten minutes during which time everyone got the message Loud and Clear.  We were free to make our own decisions so long as we NEVER chose to do anything differently than The Mog Way.

Another favorite tactic for instilling just the right amount of fear  was the Veiled Threat.  This took a rather insidious form during many staff meetings as the Mog and several of his closest Mogettes would recount stories from the old days.  These invariably included stories of the departure of former staff members.  One story that got recounted many times involved firing a 'disloyal' senior staff member while he was on vacation so that he returned to find his desk cleaned out and his belongings in a box in the hall.

No notice.  No warning.  Nothing.

Mog and The Mogettes thought the story was hilarious.  The rest of the us did not. The implication was clear.  You may think your job is safe and everything is great, but one misstep and you could be next. In fact, i actually confronted the Mog about this very thing and told him how his regaling everyone with that story made me feel as though i was going to come in some Monday morning to find my desk cleaned out and my job gone.  He assured me that my fears were completely unfounded and ludicrous.  Within three months of that conversation i came in on a Monday morning and was told that that was my last day.

No notice.  No Warning.  Nothing.

I cleaned out my own desk.