F is for Flawed

It's amazing what kind of justifications people will make for an abusive Mog.

"He's just an introvert."

"He loves people, just not in person."

"He's such a gifted teacher."

"Even Pastors aren't Perfect.  He's just flawed."

After i'd been inside the Reality Distortion Field long enough, i even found myself making the same kinds of excuses.  I told people that he was just a 'different kind of pastor'; that not all pastors had to be 'People people'.  I theorized that he was just incompetent when it came to dealing with people.  As if being just incompetent made it all okay.

And then i was forcibly ejected from the Inner Circle and slowly things became a little clearer.

As i cast about for support in those first few months my expectations were fairly low.  I never expected anyone to really believe my recounting of events.  I expected most people to listen politely and then counsel me to see 'both sides'.  I expected some version of 'he can't be that bad'.

I was wrong.  Many had 'heard things' about the way this Mog treated people.  Some had first hand accounts of being emotionally abused and manipulated.  And the better the people i spoke with knew him, the worse the descriptions got.  Words like Abusive, Arrogant and even 'Thug' [seriously!].  The word Narcissist was used several times by people who were qualified to really know what that descriptor means.  And from more than one Area Pastor i heard nothing more than 'it's a good church', which spoke volumes.

In talking with dozens of people i never heard a single person even preface their negative comments with 'he's a good man, but...'.  In point of fact, i never heard anything positive at all.  Literally.  Not One. Single. Thing.

It's a strange feeling when you realize that as negative as your opinion of someone is, that others actually consider him to be much worse.

In this last year, while i was learning the reputation of this sadly typical Mog, i have also had the privilege of getting to know several True men of God.  Some are Pastors, some are laymen, but all are examples of what a Flawed Follower of Christ actually looks like.  The one quality these men all have in common is they humbly acknowledge their failings as well as their struggles to overcome them.  Perhaps the most refreshing was the Local Pastor who admitted that, while he had certainly tried not to, he knew he had hurt some people in his church and it pained him greatly.  His acceptance of responsibility for his failings as well as the steps he has taken to never make those same mistakes again are a true example of who i want to become.

While this year has been a tough one, it has also been a breath of fresh air.  As one of the men of God i spoke of above told me, "you weren't fired, you were delivered".  I couldn't agree more.

It's also been nice to have a Godly Man influence my life for a change...