F is for FAQ..

When i set out to write this blog, i knew there would be people that would think less of me as a result.    Since i already knew the kinds of things that were being said about me already, i was and am perfectly willing to accept that.  One of the oldest defenses in the world against inconvenient truth is to shoot the messenger.   i don't like it, but i understand it goes with the territory.

However, the one thing i did underestimate is the degree to which my motivations would be misunderstood.  So as much as i really don't want to make myself the focus of this blog, here's a little FAQ for those who aren't sure what this is all about.

1.  Is this just all because you're bitter and seeking revenge?  

The dictionary defines bitterness as [a person feeling] angry, hurt, or resentful because of one's bad experiences or a sense of unjust treatment.  I've certainly experienced my share of these feelings, and i'm sure i haven't completely divested myself of them yet.  But that's not what's driving me to speak out.  And believe me when i say that i know enough intimate details about the people involved in this situation to exact significant personal revenge.  But that would be neither God-honoring nor helpful to me or anyone else.

2.  Couldn't this be handled better in private?  

The Matthew 18 conflict resolution model declares that we should first confront in person, then with another, then to the church.  I can assure you that i have confronted the Mog on every issue i raise in this blog multiple times without resolution.  I can also assure you that i have brought my concerns to the Mog with another pastor of the church again without any resolution.  My next Biblical step is to bring it to the church.  Since i have been cast out of the the Mog's church i have no other way to share it with that body than to declare it openly in public.  It is also my desire to share it openly with The Greater Church so that other church leaders and members can learn from my experience and  grow from it as well.

3.  Aren't you concerned with what affect this will have on your reputation?  

No, not really.  I have lived through some pretty difficult things and have survived a damaged reputation more than once.  I'm certain that those who know me will always know who i am.  And, of course, God knows the truth as well.

4.  Aren't you worried you'll never get another church job again?  

In short, no.  I have a close friend who has experienced much of the same things i have in his ministry career, but he cannot speak up out of fear for what that would mean for his future employment.  However, I am in the unique position of having had a successful career before i ever became a full-time church staff member.  I've already returned to that career and am doing just fine.

5.  Aren't some of the things you say Libelous?  

Well, in legal terms the best defense against a libel suit is The Truth.  In my blog i am very careful to distinguish between Facts that i can support with evidence or personal experience and my Personal Opinions, which i am of course free to express thanks to the First Amendment.  


So, why do this at all?  The answer is actually really simple.  Too many Mogs have gotten away with abusive practices for too long.  The abused endure it until they cannot and then they leave or are shown the door.  But due to a Christian culture of silence as well as people's reluctance to speak out for fear of losing their financial security or their status in the community none of this ever comes to light.  I'm in the unique position of being able to do something about that.

On the day he fired me the Mog told me that once he had informed the music team of my dismissal i was "free to speak to whomever i wanted about whatever i wanted".  He told me that he knew i would "share my version of the truth" and that was fine with him.  I'm just taking him at his word.

F is for Follow

One of the Mog's favorite sayings is "Everyone is Following Someone".  He goes on in his message closing nearly every week to say that "at 23 years of age" he chose to follow Jesus and then encourages his audience to do the same.  But my close interactions with the man for nearly ten years lead me to believe that he has little interest in whether his staff is following after God; he cares only that they follow after Him.

Just a few weeks after i started working at the Mog's church the Operations Director pulled me aside after a staff meeting with an incredulous look on her face.  "How do you get away with saying no to him?", referring to my willingness to disagree with the aforementioned Mog.  I found the question very odd.  After all, when i was hired the Mog had assured me that healthy discussion between himself and the staff was always encouraged.  And i took him at his word.  As i would see after i'd worked there a while, the staff already knew better.

After i had been working at the Mog's church for a few years it was decided that the staff would participate in an anonymous Best Christian Workplaces survey designed to evaluate the overall health of the staff culture.  I thought this was a great idea and said so to the Mog, although i cautioned him that the results might surprise him since i knew the kinds of things the staff said about him when he wasn't around.  But when the results came in, i was the one with the big surprise.  It seemed that the only one willing to answer honestly on an anonymous survey was me.  Apparently the staff knew what i did not.  To the Mog, 'anonymous' doesn't mean what you think it means.

Two months later i sat in the Mog's office along with the Mogette [i'll get to her in some future posts i'm sure] for my employee evaluation.  In that meeting i made it clear that i absolutely loved my job. But i also made it clear that working with the Mog was often very challenging.  While i had hoped this would spark some great discussion on how to improve our working relationship, instead i was witness to a truly epic red faced rant [more on this later as well] during which i was asked point blank if i had been the one to give the less than positive responses on the anonymous BCW survey that was specifically designed to "Discover the Health of your Organization".  I'm going to pause a second to let that sink in...

Yes, you read that right.  The Mog actually made me reveal my answers to an anonymous survey specifically designed to gauge the health of the Staff Culture he was leading.  ummm...  what?

So i learned a lot in my time with the Mog and his staff.  And he's right, everyone is following someone.  And the Mog's staff knows full well who they better follow.  Otherwise they might end up Just.  Like.  Me.



[Note:  To the staff members that have chosen to distance themselves from me now due to this blog...  I understand.  I have bills to pay too...]

F is for Finances

A Prosperity Gospel Preacher by the name of Creflo Dollar [yes that is his real name] recently made headlines by asking his congregation to give sacrificially to raise 60 Million Dollars so that they could "assist us in acquiring a Gulfstream G650".  For those not familiar with such things, a Gulfstream G650 is a 65 million dollar private Jet.  This was apparently necessary because Dollar's old private jet had been damaged and so it needed to be replaced.  Not surprisingly, the uproar over this request was significant, and when the outrage went viral all references to the campaign for the jet were quietly removed from the his church's website.

Now people have been getting rich in the name of Jesus for a lot of years and while this is obviously an extreme case, it is by no means the most dangerous.  No, most financial abuse in the Christian church takes a much quieter and more insidious path.  Sure, sometimes it is Pastors lining their pockets for their own gain.  But far more often it takes the form of Poor Financial Stewardship caused by Arrogant Leadership.  In fact, i would argue that Church Leaders making Foolish and Selfish financial decisions with churchgoers' money costs the Christian church far more every year than the obvious shysters like Crenflo Dollar.

In the case of my former employer, their poor financial stewardship certainly fits this pattern.  For instance, my employee compensation package when i was dismissed from my position totaled about 90k and i didn't hold a pastoral position or have a college degree.  It doesn't seem far-fetched to imagine that those with greater seniority or pastoral positions [which is nearly everyone else on staff] would certainly have higher compensations than mine.  When you consider that the median household income for the area is around 60k it would seem that this Mog is very generous with his church member's money.  It also makes me wonder exactly what or who he's attempting to buy.

In the Fall of 2013, a Capital Campaign was run to raise funds to 'improve the technology in the main auditorium' as well as a few other smaller projects at this same church.  Over 180 Thousand dollars was raised.  Some money went to new vehicles and building repairs, but the bulk of that amount of money went to the aforementioned technology upgrades.  I think if i were a member of a church that spent this much money on improving the Sunday Morning Experience i would want to be able to notice actual improvement.  And if i didn't see that, i think i would be asking some hard questions to the leadership about where all that money went.

Which brings us around to today.  At the request of one of my blog readers, I took a few moments to view my former church's online service today, and much like the obvious prosperity charlatans like Crenfro Dollar, i see the Mog of this church on his stage imploring people to give to his ministry and, in my opinion, misusing Scripture to do so.  In this case, the Mog used Luke 16:9 to say that by giving to his church you will enable others to come to Christ and they will, at some future time in heaven, welcome you into their 'eternal homes' as some kind of thank you for your gift.  Now, i am not qualified to give an authoritative interpretation as to this passage actually means [of course this particular Mog isn't really either], but i would encourage anyone reading this to go find Luke 16 and read what it actually says and compare it with his interpretation.  Personally, I think that this Mog is venturing dangerously close to abusing Scripture to finance his own personal kingdom.  And if he can bend Scripture to feed his bloated church budget, how different is he really from the guy that bends it to buy a Private Jet?

[ Special thanks for Radio Free Babylon for the use of their awesome comic.  www.facebook.com/radiofreebabylon ]

F is for Flawed

It's amazing what kind of justifications people will make for an abusive Mog.

"He's just an introvert."

"He loves people, just not in person."

"He's such a gifted teacher."

"Even Pastors aren't Perfect.  He's just flawed."

After i'd been inside the Reality Distortion Field long enough, i even found myself making the same kinds of excuses.  I told people that he was just a 'different kind of pastor'; that not all pastors had to be 'People people'.  I theorized that he was just incompetent when it came to dealing with people.  As if being just incompetent made it all okay.

And then i was forcibly ejected from the Inner Circle and slowly things became a little clearer.

As i cast about for support in those first few months my expectations were fairly low.  I never expected anyone to really believe my recounting of events.  I expected most people to listen politely and then counsel me to see 'both sides'.  I expected some version of 'he can't be that bad'.

I was wrong.  Many had 'heard things' about the way this Mog treated people.  Some had first hand accounts of being emotionally abused and manipulated.  And the better the people i spoke with knew him, the worse the descriptions got.  Words like Abusive, Arrogant and even 'Thug' [seriously!].  The word Narcissist was used several times by people who were qualified to really know what that descriptor means.  And from more than one Area Pastor i heard nothing more than 'it's a good church', which spoke volumes.

In talking with dozens of people i never heard a single person even preface their negative comments with 'he's a good man, but...'.  In point of fact, i never heard anything positive at all.  Literally.  Not One. Single. Thing.

It's a strange feeling when you realize that as negative as your opinion of someone is, that others actually consider him to be much worse.

In this last year, while i was learning the reputation of this sadly typical Mog, i have also had the privilege of getting to know several True men of God.  Some are Pastors, some are laymen, but all are examples of what a Flawed Follower of Christ actually looks like.  The one quality these men all have in common is they humbly acknowledge their failings as well as their struggles to overcome them.  Perhaps the most refreshing was the Local Pastor who admitted that, while he had certainly tried not to, he knew he had hurt some people in his church and it pained him greatly.  His acceptance of responsibility for his failings as well as the steps he has taken to never make those same mistakes again are a true example of who i want to become.

While this year has been a tough one, it has also been a breath of fresh air.  As one of the men of God i spoke of above told me, "you weren't fired, you were delivered".  I couldn't agree more.

It's also been nice to have a Godly Man influence my life for a change...